Most Wanted: Happiness

http://www.oprah.com/video_embed.html?article_id=37473&width=574&height=321

I was recently at the hair salon talking to a fabulous entrepreneur about the challenges of having only female clientele. She laughed, “They just don’t know what they want!”.  While she went on to tell us stories of how one minute the request will be for a simple set of  turquois earrings, to change to a request of a pink necklace with matching bangles instead, all I could think about was the truth in her statement.  We are so fickle – and we want so much!

So, what do I want?  Hmmm, I’d say happiness (my simple way of saying a successful career, loving marriage, beautiful and smart children, wonderful friendships, no family drama, and to squeeze back into my pants from college – shall I go on?).  They say the only way to achieve happiness is to focus on it.  Oprah has even said focusing on what we don’t have is actually what leads to us being and feeling miserable.  Honestly, I focus on what I don’t have quite often (I wish I was making more money, I wish I spent more time with my friends, I wish I had more free time, I wish my family was more like the Huxtables, I wish I wasn’t in so much pain so I could go to the gym – shall I go on?).  Now that I think about it…I have been quite overwhelmed and a bit miserable lately.

So that’s my challenge! I want to focus on why I’m happy and grateful, while relishing in those good moments of which I can’t seem to get enough.  I’m cracking open my journal to jot down the 3-5 things I’m grateful for or the 3-5 good things that have happened to me.  Oprah swears by her gratitude journal and according to the Science of Happiness writing down your gratitude works because it gives you the space to focus on the positive, and this practice teaches you to notice, remember, and savor the better things in life. It may prompt you to pay closer attention to positive events down the road and engage in them more fully—both in the moment and later on, when you can reminisce and share these experiences with others. Reflecting on the cause of the event may help attune you to the deeper sources of goodness in your life.  (Sources – Jeffrey Huffman, M.D., Harvard Medical School; Sonja Lyubomirksy, Ph.D., University of California, Riverside)

What are your three good things?